i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
