Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
