Betty ford says i'm here all night
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
