she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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