I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
