But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
