Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
