you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
