I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
