I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
