He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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