so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
