this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
