Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
