Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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