I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We're too hungover to prance.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
