For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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