im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
