i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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