I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
