After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
