Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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