A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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