We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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