so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
