We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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