Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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