After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
