Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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