Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know, be my cock's hype man.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
