Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
