I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
