I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I supernannyed him into submission
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
