would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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