i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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