Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
