Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
