Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize