office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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