also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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