Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
