singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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