Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
