Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sorry about my life...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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