I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
