You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sarcasm needs its own font
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
