well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Im part way to drunk.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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