its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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