Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
