Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
