You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
