I wanna bring you to show and tell
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
