Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
