Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
