no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
