real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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