she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
