So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
