I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
