just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
