Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
